i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize