...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
