"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Your cock deserves a montage
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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