why didn't you poke me back
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
