so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
We left the knife in your bed.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
