Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
