Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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