We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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