so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
