Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
