Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
