He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
