You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
