this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
