Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
My liver just had a heart attack.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
