I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
