Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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