Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
