Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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