I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
you had me at cake vodka
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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