So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
