i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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