Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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