I am puke
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Randomize
