Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
