Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(775): View more from Nevada

What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?

(1-775): View more from Nevada

A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!

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(586): View more from Michigan

just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall

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(646): View more from New York

My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.

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(727): View more from Florida

remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.

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(218): View more from Minnesota

You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face

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