dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
