I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I wish i was in the wii world.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
