They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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