You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
