I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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