she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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