He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
