I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
