so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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