Dual....:-)
Non-Jews are for practice
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Randomize
