I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
