me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
