You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
