I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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