I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
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