Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Drunk is a universal language darling
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