so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
You are the jesus of drinking
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
