Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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