well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
