i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
