I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
how drunk are you?
Several
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
