how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
