Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
either way he was missing a nipple.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
