apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Randomize
