ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize