Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
