D3 body, D1 cock
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
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