Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
