You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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