For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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