I can't watch pbs sober anymore
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize