He asked me if I "almost moaned"
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
whose ass print is on the piano?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Randomize
