I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
