Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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