It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
