i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
