Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
