dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize